In a nutshell ...

In a nutshell marriage is like a planet, not a satellite, where the leader must have a deputy to manage and nurture his land together without fail and without frail for the prosperous-ness of the land so as to give sustenance to his offspring and all under his care and that will absolutely depend on the health of his land to provide such sustenance thus, the earth must be let to work well with all the five elements which the satellite is devoid of.

In understanding such chain of reasons and causes, we all must care for it with all the love we have in our heart and wise minds that we posses under the guidance of our faith.

After all, what is the meaning of living on earth if not for the sole purpose of returning to heaven.


While we are still standing on this planet earth, we might as well live in harmony with all the five elements for to live in peace of mind and heart will lead to higher realm man of faith.

Hence, make peace, people.  Stop war.  Leave behind ill faith.

Love to all and happy marriage everybody.

When the Universe stood still

This is how it is when the universe stood still..... In the absence of noise, the other beings flourish in silence.  Celebrating calmness.

Beauty in stillness.

~~ enta omri is in stillness...

Lesson Number One

I want to talk about 'learning to understand "who-your-wife" is as a person.'

    Know that she is a  daughter and sister and niece and granddaughter of someone else.  Never forget this fact.

    Know that she has different build from you.  Totally different, okay.  Check out the anatomy text book, in case you are not sure about it.  I am talking about her feminine body structure i.e. from the DNA structure to the size of her bones, her monthly cycle included.

    Know that her bodily structure influenced her emotional structure.

    Know that her mood swing is greatly influenced by her bodily changes too.

    Know that she has acute intuition and can tell what is happening even if you did not tell her.  Most of the time, that is.

    Know that there was a reason perhaps many reasons why she chose you to be her spouse.  Get to know what was or were the reasons.  'Post-it'  it in your head.  Don't loose that particular information, if you are seriously serious about your relationship with her.

    Know that you must never ever attempt to build a habit of 'lying'.  If you do, you are digging your own grave.  Good luck.

    Know that a marital relationship is a serious business.  As such, handle serious matter seriously.  If you love, love seriously.  Meaning, Love honestly, with good faith and with good intention.  You do not want to be a hypocrite, do you?

    Know yourself.  In knowing her, you know yourself.  Knowing who you are is learning to know her.  

By taking the initiatives above, you are constantly awarding yourself with a  peaceful prosperous and wonderful life.  Because, you are the one, in the first place, who decides that you want to end your single life.  So, make the effort.  Be accounted for.  

Well people, I have no formal education in psychology or counselling or anything similar to that   All these information were experiences gathered over the years while interacting and participating with other human kinds who crossed my path.  So, they were valid points, I supposed. 

All the best!  Continue building and constructing and loving, people.

Universal Word

Isn't love such a mystical wonder of life in the universe? I mean, every living body with brain react to the meaning of this fantastic description of feelings.  Every object and subject give some sort of response to this word.  How can such small number of letters give such enormous impact on all living things in this place we called home.  "Love of earthlings" - nice caption I figure.  Oh, by the way, "earthlings" also include non human subjects, yes.  Please do not limit-ize  your 'world' view.

Let's examine the wonderful interaction of the bee family with the rest of the living things on earth, for instance.  Do you know that the bee family consists of  the father bee also known as the drones ( nice...), the mummy bee and the hardworking younguns plus there is the Queen bee, the center figure in  family bee. Do you notice the bee family home is a large structure of complex alleys and cubicles?  It also functions as a thermometer to keep the family members warm and cosy from the uncertain weather.   And some experts said that the center of earth is like honey made by the bee family!  Isn't that a fabulous wonder!  We humans, living on top of honey every seconds. Do you realize that without the bee family the world will be left unattended due to failure in the nature system and soon after all of us will perish? No? Not ever realize that such huge impact will affect us? Well, you see, without the loving, loyal and hardworking bee family the world and its content will collapse.  We will no longer able to taste that golden shiny sweet and full of energy driven sweetener forever never will we have that priceless liquid again.  There will be no more flowers, gone will the roses, the bunga raya, the bougainvilleas, the jasmines, the durian flowers ( oh no!).  There will be no more oranges, pomegranates,  that delicious grapes, no more apples, strawberries and all the berry families and don't forget that sweet smelling mangoes and its beautiful flowers.  No rambutans, mangoesteens, and that wonderful jambu batu or guava.  How about grains like rice, oats, wheats and corns. All will be gone. Will there be anymore four seasons? What will be the fate of those lands in the tropics? Oh what will become of us if there is no bee around? What will be the fate of those other living animals on land, air and sea?  Terrible indeed the outcome, people.  

Thus, shall we conclude to say that honey bees and its family members are our most intimate nexus with the rest of the living things that exist in this world.  Bees bring with it that wonderful universal word - LOVE.  What is this world without the love of the honey bees.  

"the papa bee aka the drone at lunch time during summer in France."

My Constellations

"You  are the brightest of stars, you are the highest of all...You came into my life, like the eagle's soaring from the wide open sky."

There will be a time when you will be sitting alone in your garden sipping ice coffee and smelling the hot air in the late afternoon looking around you admiring the leaves moving with the wind and there under the jasmine pot your small kittens nursing with their mommy then you look upon the blue sky beyond and you said to yourself, "God I am not lonely anymore.  I found the apex of love with your Grace o God and I am grateful for these pleasures You granted me."  And you realized that this new found inner revelation,  these feelings become possible to exist all because you have found the love of your life one that you have been looking and waiting for all your life and you know that he knows that you love him and he knows that you know that he loves you. With this solid feeling inside you, you know that you can face the world with all its madness and ridiculousness.  You can handle all those stupidity human kind can put forth.  You will stand tall against all oddity and impossibility that the common beings not able to face.  You will see the beauty in all facets of creations and forms.  You can stop and ponder amidst the commotion at the public place.  You may even lose some of the wrinkles on your face.  Your eyes shine and twinkles.  Your cheeks become rosy and your walks become livelier. How fulfilling is your life when such is your achievement.  Even when the subject of your heart is never nearby.  Blessed is the one who have reached the constellation.  The apex of love. 

Life is all about having to live it to the best of your ability with the help of peace in mind and soul which can be derived from having a balance lifestyle of the inner self , the physical outer beings with anyone third party who can be people outside your loop.  How big is your loop is up to you to make the choice.  To have a successful relationship is to have first and foremost a peace of mind. The very nature of a human being is to love, be loved and stay in love.  This is the basic requirement.  It is the nucleus.  All other matters in a relationship circles around the feelings and realization of knowing love, expressing it and living with it.  It gives the peace of mind.  A peaceful mind is nutrient to a healthy body and emotion. It brings dynamic to the self. Love is the essence in life but to found the apex of love is the greatest success ever.  As Rumi has expressed in his beautiful poem,  This is Love.


This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, 
to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.
First, to let go of live.
In the end, to take a step without feet;
to regard this world as invisible,
and to disregard what appears to be the self.

Heart, I said, what a gift it has been
to enter this circle of lovers,
to see beyond seeing itself,
to reach and feel within the breast.


There it goes, people.  Reach for the constellation.  Create and build your circle of love. Construct until it becomes.

Words & Love.

"the time for putting the alphabets on the surface of the blank slab and the utterance of more words  for others to hear and understand has long past..
to find meaning in what one is doing is forever ongoing; the demands for more words of meaning are deafening at times."

I am uttering the feelings of being at lost with words when all that's needed to be said have all been said.  All the time that have been spent in the cave of 'getting-to-know-thee' 'knowing me-knowing you' have taken all the energy of one who has made it an objective as his or her effort to know 'love'.

In other words, I am saying that one will be at a lost of purpose if one continues to have a relationship purely and solely based on words spoken through machine transmission per se can be the most taxing process if such process runs for months and months without any certainty of ever meeting the subject of one's attention eye to eye!  It is a true test of perseverance and loyalty indeed.  Have any of you people expedience such a relationship?  Rarely, no?

Building is indeed an uphill task for many.  Identifying the type of building to build, the design, the landscape and the  materials to use are all mind boggling exercise.  But how can we avoid such complex process of the human uttermost important part of his her life? Avoid it as much as you want to but you can never be able to run away from it.  As, the essence of life is LOVE. No one can run away from love. Have you ever tried people?  Tell me if any of you have indeed done it.

Perhaps Love ...

Whenever you feel this world does not give meaning, then step back a moment and sit still and listen to nature.  Go back to find love, to fill you empty cup.

Close your eyes, listen carefully and see through your inner self, through your heartbeats and your breathe...learn to listen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XjOseVwwic&feature=related  : an excellent piece of song to ponder upon.

Labyrinth

Clashes of the spouses at the height of a crisis can be a daunting experience to some.  There will be many aspects of one's life that will become major concerns to both spouses but , one of them may look at their many issues in marriage from different viewpoint altogether collided against each other's views that could rise to negating effect ultimately.  How can it be not possible for any one of them to easily misunderstood the feelings, inner feelings, inner emotional flows of the other against another, the misconstrued perspective upon the conducts of the other when all in all it will come back to the pertinent issue of the attitude and the degree of intellectual plus emotional quality and quantity of the couple.  Whats with all these uncertainties of behaviour and conducts, instability of emotional well being and whats with all these emotional guarantee and warranty?  Whats its all about?  Why is the human relationship become so difficult a subject to fathom and to digest?  Why is it so unreachable to get to that harmony of relationship?

I have been doing readings of the body and words and conduct of  persons in my life for all my life, folks.  Still, I learn.  Learning and learning.  Going round and round the fields, the lakes, the roads, the hills, the rivers, the forest....... forever and ever.  When one reached the city border, one decided to get excited for one was thinking one has reached the civilisation.  Alas! one was dragged back to the darkness of learning, yet again.  Even, when one has declared one's truthful inner desires and soulful searches of one's dreams, one is still being dragged to the bottom of the pond. 

It is because, whats in one's heart is not one is in possession of.  All due to one's divine devotion to one's worldly holdings obtained through divine oath.  Not that that divine oath one cannot elude from, its just that one is still entrapped by that divine oath that one is not being capable of disengaging oneself at least not in the near foresight.  Its like torn between two worlds.  One is torn between the holdings and the desire to be free like birds in the sky.  Life is simple.  But the construction of it is complex.  What is left but time.

Though, one is in near death to be within the vicinity of one's Taj Mahal ....

Pursue of Happiness

So many articles and various kind of write-ups have been composed to describe the meaning and the purpose on the pursue of happiness.  It will be re-written over and over time again.  No doubt about that.

You will be wondering how can you reach your goal of getting to your happiness, the word happiness which is so fuzzy to the eyes, blurring the vision like walking in the rain.  Your hands will try to reach out to it.  Your legs will want to walk to it.  Your heart will always desire it.  Your eyes are always on the look out for it.  Your ears will make your head bend towards it.  Your whole body will shiver in excitement wanting so much to be near it.  But, where is that happiness?  Where does it stay?  Who has ever been successful in finding it?  How long will you go on an adventure before you meet it?  All these questions will play over and over again in your mind and your head over a long long period of time, if you do not know what happiness is.

What is it about? What's happiness all about?  It's all in your heart, people.  Right in the middle of your body.  It stays there since the beginning of your creation until the day you discover it.  It's all about your journey towards the discovery of your happiness.  What in one's heart is what is life's outcome will be.  It's all about having and living a good life, to you.  It is how you understand it in your own language together with those who share and speak your language.  It's all up to you to discover it.  Its mystery lies within you.

You just need to sit quietly and listen to your inner self, to your blood flowing, to your breath moving in and out, and to your own tears when it come down rolling on your cheeks.  Listen to your self when its talking to you.  Just sit quietly.  Decide to live a good life.  Decide to live your life in your own way while conforming to universal decency.  For you cannot have  a good live when you are not decent with other human beings.

Yes, the pursue of happiness is a pursue to live a good life.  The key to live a good life is to have a good heart.  The heart is what one must care diligently and with love and kindness.  Writing this has brought my mind to these words :

"As is a tale, so is life: not know how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters."

This is an ancient quote which I picked from J.K.Rowling's speech titled 'The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination', a speech given at Harvard University Commencement in June 5, 2008.

Such is the greatness of the power of the heart, it dominates and influence the mind of oneself in understanding the meaning of what is the good of life and in the good of life is where one find one's happiness.  It is true, if you are to say that life is not a one way street that it has many faces, but, those are only elements which only add color to your living the life and the doings of life.  The heart will guide you to where to find the good in living.

Ponder one must, for in it the mind assesses the writings on the wall.

It's All For Love

Scene 1

About three weeks ago, in the master bedroom on the bed, husband and wife busy reading serious stuff.  Husband with thick important book, while the wife with the all important magazine of all time.  Suddenly, the wife asked the husband a question.  Honey, she said.  Yes....., replied the husband. I've been thinking lately, she continued.  Hmmm....., replied the husband.  I'm thinking of smoking cigarette.  What you think?, she asked.  He said, Love, I quit smoking years ago.  And, I did it just like that.  I told my brain that I want to quit and I quit.  Its like mental game to me dear.  I wanted to test my mental strength, and there it was, a simple and easy quit. Besides, next you will be thinking of the brand,  he smiled at her.  And she said smiling back to him, oh well, there's no point then to start smoking.  And, they continued their reading.


Scene 2
Last night.  Both husband and wife sitting in the living room together and as usual both were holding the all important book and magazine as if these are the ever important factor in their life.  Suddenly the wife asked the husband while flipping through her magazine.  Honey....., she said.  Hmmm....., replied the husband.  I've been thinking you know, she continued.  Yes....., he answered , still reading with intent.  I'm thinking of smoking cigar, she blurted the words.  He changed position and thinking to himself, this is the uttermost important chapter I'm reading now.  And he replied, love, cigar is expensive. Why not try the rokok daun or chew the sireh, it' cheaper besides, it's good for cross-examination...!  He looked at her with wide eyes.  She looked back at him with blinking eyes, and, suddenly she laughed.  A hilarious laughter.  After few seconds she stopped laughing and said, I knew it that you loved me that much for you to give me such answer!  And, he responded well to that laughter and, they started to talk about old times.

Why am I writing about these two scenes people?  To show to you all the need to communicate freely to your loved one and to be able to relate with your partner in honesty and sincerity with whatever things that cropped-up in your mind no matter how mundane it can be.  And, in so doing, you are also testing the level of patience your spouse has towards you.  How well your partner gave his/her response to your mundane query, will depend on how strong your relationship with him/her that you both have built thus far.   This is an important element in building a healthy relationship, people.   Open and free flowing reasonable line of communication is most important.  Without it, life can be miserable.  Imagine living a life with someone who cannot relate and respond to you positively.  It is a torture indeed.  This is the first part.

The second part will be that the husband as in the above case must be quick to detect the cause for the wife to ask questions like that to him.  And to ask it within short period of time.  There must be something going on in her mind, right?  Yes, something is definitely building inside.  She may be bored with her daily routines.  She may not be getting enough attention from her husband.  She may need more actions from her husband. She may be revealing her secret desires to him in coded words.   All these are potential reasons.  Her husband just need to be more attentive and sensitive to her needs and start paying attention.  If things are left without being rectified, other kinds of emotional imbalance might arise like for example, seeds of doubt about her husband's feelings and love towards her.  As such is the situation, open communication must be the trait in your marriage life, all throughout the relationship.

What is it that makes two different individuals stay together in a relationship and bear with each other eccentricities? I would say, LOVE.  Love is the reason for it.  All kinds of hardships, sadness, troubles and tests are bearable so long there is love that glued both of them together.  Love brings togetherness.  Togetherness brings  understanding.  Understanding brings peace.

Remember people, it's all for love.  Don't leave home without it!!

Wishing On A Star

"I'm wishing on a star; To follow where you are; I'm wishing on a dream;  To follow what it means; And I wish on all the rainbows that I see; I wish on all the people who really dream; And I'm wishing on tomorrow, praying it'll comes; And I'm wishing on all the lovin' we've ever done; I never thought I'd see; A time when you would be; So far away from home; So far away from me" -- Rose Royce

Once in a while you may want to be by your own and ponder about the universe.  The sky is the most intriguing, most spectacular and the most attractive to one's eyes and soul.  The stars have always been my most favoured object of the universe.  It signifies hope and wishes that come true.  Night time is a time where the body and soul of a person take its time off to rest and to ponder on what has been done during the day time.  And, it is a time to make a wish.  A time to pray for the wish to come true.  This month is the month for Muslims to make prayers and wishes.  It is the spirit of the special month for the believers to succumb themselves to God and make their wishes and pray for it.  It has been said by many wise men that to be close to God is to observe nature and learned from it.    To be able to live with nature is the best way of life.  To learn from nature is the highest wisdom that is attainable by an honest soul that is so full of love and tenderness.

I am wishing on a star tonight.  I am making such wishing because I am praying for my star to come home and be near to me.  So that, my pondering towards the beauty of the universe and the time to learn from nature can be shared with my star. 

Together, the best of things can be made real - RR.

A Thousand Stars

Looking at the sky and wondering how the open wide space of the sky can be so beautiful during the day time and during the night time.  At night, when the sky is clear with stars shining in thousands, we wonder if  we can have the star in our hands. Pluck it, put it on our heart and keep it there forever and ever and ever until the end of time......, for the love of your life is the star that shines like a thousand stars.

The Paths

The thing about marriage is you don't know what's going to happen next even if you've tried your best to fix the schedule - your life-plan schedule. I am not only inclined but is forced to believe that tomorrow will never come when we deal with marriage. Yes, togetherness. But, yes too to individuality. Hence, I am forced too to ask "a very complex philsophical-psychological question on being there/here and spending time and on the inevitability of fate and of crossroads and turns of the road less taken." - to quote a philosopher's words.

The relevant situation for such question is when you are in the healing phase of your relationships with your spouse after the "crisis". There will be an empty space in the heart of the partner who has been hurt by the said "crisis". To amend and re-structure the empty space thereafter to fulfill it will take a lot of effort and energy plus time - by both parties. The greatest impact will be on the one who suffered the most by the "crisis" and she/he is the one will be with the biggest empty space. It is a fact that must not be ignored. It is like NOT seeing the 'pink elephant' in the living room. What I want to express herein people is, you cannot ignore the empty space in your heart and continue living your life as if nothing is changed. Face it. Accept the fact. The love that was once there has all gone!! Yes, you will say to yourself, working very hard convincing yourself that there is still love like before in your heart for him/her. But, people, it has all gone the day you make your war.!

The challenge in situation like this is, when your path crosses with another person that is just too good to be true like your hero in your dream with long hair and piercing eyes suddenly appears in your life and swept you away with the greatest of surprise that left you dizzy. How to deal with this situation people? Remember, the empty space? Within that empty space lies the quest for the golden trophy to fulfill the lost love that was once there. The missing element - LOVE.

I cannot express it in any better way but to quote this beautiful poem by an ancient Persian poet as narrated to me by a dear friend:.

"will you and i with Fate decree,
to change the scheme of things entire,
will you and i with Fate conspire,
to change the things we desire,
so that they will be close to our heart's desire. "

This is the challenge people. The fulfillment comes not from the other important someone in your marriage. It comes from the one that you have been searching all your life, but, only now appears.

I know. Its complicated.

The Long Walk And The Long Wait

There will be a time when you want to exert your individuality in you anytime and at any stage of your marriage life. Where you will want to make an instant and impromptu decision on a life changing journey, like going for a long travel.

You will want to just do it. Take the challenge. Move on with your ideals. Satisfy your dreams. Fulfill your cravings. It is a situation where you either take the long walk or do the long wait. The choice is on you.

A wise man once said that the situation is going to be like this, "it's going to be a very very long walk and a long long wait ... you might be an old timer on the beach by the time i get there. in my journey to the beach of athens, i might get distracted and stop by in Ur, Sumeria, Mahenjo Daro and Harappa, or hang out at the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, check out the pyramids of Gizeh, or even help edit the Code of Hammurabbi. must you still wait? . You'll be old (er) by then ... older by a thousand years. This is the problem of waiting."

I don't want to be an old timer waiting for my dreams to come to me. I want to go out there take the journey to my dreams. No, it is not a journey for chasing the rainbow. It is a turning point journey that only the lucky ones are made available with. In this kind of journey, you make the decision on when to stop it. When to stop will be where you decide to make your final destination.

How can it be possible for one to know when to go and when to stop or just to wait. It's your life, you make the choice. Not him, not her, not they, perhaps, not even us.

Have a great month of June people.

The Reservoir of Hope and Love

Where can you find the reservoir of hope and love? Is it in your purse? The mansion at the country club? Or, at the mall?

The reservoir of hope and love is a place where happy-ness is waiting to be embraced. That's where true love awaits you. In living this life which is so mundane and colourless, we tend to be blinded from the beauty around us as given by our Creator to give benefit and peace to us that will enhance our way of living so that we shall prosper in preparation for the new generations entire.

The reservoir of hope and love is where two people find ways to open up their hearts and discover that there is no limit to one's imaginations. The reservoir of hope and love can be found everywhere,anywhere and anytime.

My reservoir of hope and love is there, under the big coconut tree near the green-blue lake sitting with the love of my life in silence and one with nature. In peace I found true love.

The Cave In The Forest

" By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates


And...., I have been greatly challenged today when a dear friend of mine narrated to me this story:
"many neanderthal men became extinct because neanderthal women forced them to hunt for food while the women write grocery list on cave walls. they were the earliest feminists and a danger to the male species. they started the idea of shopping lists and the men worked hard battling wild beasts. many neanderthal men were mauled to pieces only because they forgot something on the list and had to go out again when the dinosaurs were having dinner. Archaeologists discovered that on the wall of the Chauvet Cave in Southern France, there is a carving of what looked like a woman-Neanderthal shopper that looked like a wife of a prime minister of a banana republic somewhere in Asia. She was carrying 89 shopping bags."

What am I to make of this piece of mind challenging facts-fiction? Maybe my dear good friend has become a philosopher........

But, I have this nagging feeling in my head that keeps telling me that I have graduated with flying colors as the philosopher of marriage!! Me...??!!
Now, what do you think that indicate? I can't hide from Socrates.

Individuals in a union.

What is life?
One may wonder what is life all about. Is it about living in and with the other individuals in a union or is it about living in together-ness, disregard individualistic, and be lost in the jungle of union. Perhaps, one need to seek out one's individual-ness by going back to one's inner self, reflect and come to term with it. Is it about love? Is it about success in together-ness? How can one possibly weigh the importance of one's individualism in a union with the other individuals without affecting adversely the together-ness?

Aahhh..! life is indeed a complicated journey! But I learned from someone that a life not tested is not worth living.