Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Phenomena

What is the current phenomena in the postmodern family structure/family ties that has become almost like a public awareness in experience albeit an open secret one in Malaysia?   Has anyone noticed anything peculiar in the way couples and spouses re-align their relationship to conform with the unstoppable demands of the highly commercialized and ultra secular society becoming fast in this society in particular the Malays?  Perplex?  Bewildered?  You should be.  My focus right now is in the development of the Malays in their interaction within their family unit with their spouses while working to make their relationship works although it is no longer workable and in doing so, stretching the relationship, its way of interaction and communication line to the optimum wherein in it lies the underlying turmoil and stormy feelings which will sooner or later, find its way to the exit door from the steady increasing temperature!  Yes people, it is a phenomena indeed.  This new way of stabilizing the spousal relationships among the Malays.  It comes to my knowledge that a number of good old friends and friends of friends are practicing this new way of  this phenomena I named "marītālis stabilizer'.  How did they do it.?  Apparently, by default, spouse who are facing some sort of inadequacy in their marital relationship found his/her way to the exit door with no actual intention whatsoever (at least in the beginning) ties a knot of mutual relationship albeit a platonic one, with another person (man/woman) outside their marriage and this new found person is regarded as a special someone who is more than a friend category and this couple just continue with their specially defined relationship just like any other couple in love but at the same time, continuing living their marriage live with their spouse like any normal couple would do; in every sense of the word marriage.  What part of it so phenomenal?  The participants i.e. the couple are both from a troubled marriage; both are married with grown kids; both have stable career some with high important positions;   both just accept the fact that both of them are tied to another person but they continue to be happily doing all sorts of friendships thing together like having fun time together and with friends having similar situation, they go out together, go to movies, plan for holidays, they celebrate birthdays and anniversary of their relationship, they kiss farewell every time they part, and since that they are Malays, the female will kiss the hand of the male partner.  Yes, I used the word 'partner'; since that they are considered partner in crime as the situation suggests.  They are closed couple but they do not step out beyond the normal friends' activities that is NO sex.  And, because of that situation and position, I cannot labelled this kind of relationship as a marital affairs relationship.  I came to know of this situation , I mean, fully aware of the situation just quite recently.  According to the practitioners of this lifestyle, they are leading a happy life.  In a way, it helps in building back their almost broken marriage.  They regain some element of liberation in their inner self, at least for the time being, they confessed. 

What are we to make of this new development in human relationship?  Is it new , really?  What say you people?