Friday, November 9, 2012

You talk first or I start first?

What's with communication anyway? A tool to ease the journey of building this worldly life with a stranger who has become someone familiar.  That's the essential meaning of communication, to my mind.

It's easier said than done, though. Talking to a person is not easy. It is a process of forming words which originate in the mind where from instruction of which would come through the brain and guided by feelings or the emotional department and finally, words are uttered by the mouth with making certain form of sounds.  It also requires some courage from the person.  Must let go of that ego things from becoming the wall of obstruction, alright.  Then, you must also have the ability to asses or regard the environment such as the time, the day including the weather and not to forget the venue or the place to have such communication session with your other half.  You know, you must have a high degree of sense of awareness ( or the politically correct word would be "sensitiveness"), so as to obtain the most perfect result as your heart desires.  Failure on your part to consider all these necessary guidelines would deem your objective a total disaster.  So, now you see how paramount it is to be a skilled master of communicator?  Many marriages fail due to low level of communication skills possessed by the couple.  You see, you must not take marriage life and your spouse for granted.  First it becomes a habit.  A habit will turn into  character.   A character will develop into personality.   Can you visualize the chain of privity, chain of causation here? 

Who shall talk first?    You or the other half? I suggest the husband must start the conversation first.  Because, a woman likes it a lot if her husband show interest in her affairs in the household as the queen in your castle.  You get what I mean here?  Women generally are still very traditional in their way of thinking.  They like to have their husbands to be in charge.  What that mean here is simply for you to take the leadNot to control or patronize.  And one more thing, you don't have to pretend to be a sweet talker.  Do not fake, menfolks.  Do not be pretentious.  Do not be a lame person.  Do not imitate others.  Just be honest.  Be true. Original. Alright.  Surely you are capable of being such a gentlemanThe effort shown by you here, indicate how true your love is toward your wife.   Unless, there is no longer love and thoughts between both of you anymore, you can just abandon such effort.  Why waste energy and time when both parties are unable to see eye to eye about themselves and everything surrounding their lifeAfter all, nothing in this life is permanent, right.  Even seasons change.  

Building is indeed a hard work.  That's why whats worth building must be worth keeping and protected.   Build love and make love, people.  Forget about making war, it is such a wasted participation to get oneself into.  All the best! 

Oh, to help you master the skill, this song may be useful.  Enjoy..

I know, I know.... it's  Malay pantun...absolutely helpful.  Trust me.


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