The Phenomena

What is the current phenomena in the postmodern family structure/family ties that has become almost like a public awareness in experience albeit an open secret one in Malaysia?   Has anyone noticed anything peculiar in the way couples and spouses re-align their relationship to conform with the unstoppable demands of the highly commercialized and ultra secular society becoming fast in this society in particular the Malays?  Perplex?  Bewildered?  You should be.  My focus right now is in the development of the Malays in their interaction within their family unit with their spouses while working to make their relationship works although it is no longer workable and in doing so, stretching the relationship, its way of interaction and communication line to the optimum wherein in it lies the underlying turmoil and stormy feelings which will sooner or later, find its way to the exit door from the steady increasing temperature!  Yes people, it is a phenomena indeed.  This new way of stabilizing the spousal relationships among the Malays.  It comes to my knowledge that a number of good old friends and friends of friends are practicing this new way of  this phenomena I named "marītālis stabilizer'.  How did they do it.?  Apparently, by default, spouse who are facing some sort of inadequacy in their marital relationship found his/her way to the exit door with no actual intention whatsoever (at least in the beginning) ties a knot of mutual relationship albeit a platonic one, with another person (man/woman) outside their marriage and this new found person is regarded as a special someone who is more than a friend category and this couple just continue with their specially defined relationship just like any other couple in love but at the same time, continuing living their marriage live with their spouse like any normal couple would do; in every sense of the word marriage.  What part of it so phenomenal?  The participants i.e. the couple are both from a troubled marriage; both are married with grown kids; both have stable career some with high important positions;   both just accept the fact that both of them are tied to another person but they continue to be happily doing all sorts of friendships thing together like having fun time together and with friends having similar situation, they go out together, go to movies, plan for holidays, they celebrate birthdays and anniversary of their relationship, they kiss farewell every time they part, and since that they are Malays, the female will kiss the hand of the male partner.  Yes, I used the word 'partner'; since that they are considered partner in crime as the situation suggests.  They are closed couple but they do not step out beyond the normal friends' activities that is NO sex.  And, because of that situation and position, I cannot labelled this kind of relationship as a marital affairs relationship.  I came to know of this situation , I mean, fully aware of the situation just quite recently.  According to the practitioners of this lifestyle, they are leading a happy life.  In a way, it helps in building back their almost broken marriage.  They regain some element of liberation in their inner self, at least for the time being, they confessed. 

What are we to make of this new development in human relationship?  Is it new , really?  What say you people?

Relationships of the Soulmates

So, someone asked me what kind of adult relationship I am leading.  What kind of a question is that? My response: a relationship where a high level of verbal communication and exchange between me and my soul mate that meaningfully provides a sense of emotional security between my soul mate and myself. Together, we tend to keep in close touch and enjoy a shared glibness of tongue when conversing - now, that is what real non-fictitious non-pretentious affectation all about.  Can any of you do that or done that?  Oh come on, get real people.  There is no use standing like the man on top of the hill with his head in the clouds.  You got to get on the ground, at the zero point of your relationship with your soul mate.  Then came this question: where in the world can you find such a soul mate who respond openly to your foolishness silly-ness and eccentricities to the core?!  What?  You haven't met him yet? Or her yet?  Your soul mate.  I found mine, man!  With the grace of God, found, discovered and fell head over heel for him!  And you may want to query, how can one fall head over heel in love that instantly? No, my own head over heel in love happened over a period of twelve moons people.  Twelve long moons of love-hate-love discovery, rediscovery , building and re-building of emotions and the self.  It is almost like the beauty and the beast kind of relationship; utterly beyond comprehension.

Whats Up?!

Well, the end is getting nearer.  In few days we will leave behind 2010.  The dawning of 2011 is almost at the horizon.  So, its almost like a cliche but, people will still ask this question - whats your new year resolution? Each coming new year there will be confessions made by the people who are in the aware of the going on in this world, so as to tell the world and to convince  their senses that the awareness of one's social obligation like declaring one's self resolution is a must that one must without fail do and redo each year.  Come to think of it, how many new year resolutions have you made? As many as your birthday party?


I am thinking loudly now- the new year resolution is the only, repeat, the only politically correct thing to do e-ve-ry year.  Don't you think?

The Love Letter

Dearest love of my life,

You must have been wondering all the time of my whereabouts.  For I have been keeping silent all this while.  I have been away, my dearest friend.  So far away that it is just impossible for me to send you my words.  I have been talking to the sun, to the moon, to the wind and to the rain.  Whispering at night to the great owl my words of longings for you.  If you only know how much I have been missing you, of how much I want to be near you, of how much my heart cries for you even the weeping willow will become envious of my tears, dearest one.  I am staying away as far as I possibly can, away from you dearest one as I am so fearful of my overwhelming love for you might take over my sensibility and good judgement of myself and the world I am living in.  But, I know of some saying which say that not to be crazy is not to be in love.  For one who is in love will not think, he will only feel.  I fear this feelings, dearest one.  Truly am fearful of its empowering influence over my being.  Can one love so much and stay sane.  Where is sanity when one is in love.  Why is this love so a mystery.  It only makes the mind and body helpless and at the mercy of the loved one.  I have seen the moon, it didn't shine its brightest when you are not nearby.  I have felt in my heart that my heart won't be at peace unless you are present.  How long can this affairs of the heart find its consolation.  Till the end of time...?

Until then, dearest one.

W.W. Willow

Pursue of Happiness

So many articles and various kind of write-ups have been composed to describe the meaning and the purpose on the pursue of happiness.  It will be re-written over and over time again.  No doubt about that.

You will be wondering how can you reach your goal of getting to your happiness, the word happiness which is so fuzzy to the eyes, blurring the vision like walking in the rain.  Your hands will try to reach out to it.  Your legs will want to walk to it.  Your heart will always desire it.  Your eyes are always on the look out for it.  Your ears will make your head bend towards it.  Your whole body will shiver in excitement wanting so much to be near it.  But, where is that happiness?  Where does it stay?  Who has ever been successful in finding it?  How long will you go on an adventure before you meet it?  All these questions will play over and over again in your mind and your head over a long long period of time, if you do not know what happiness is.

What is it about? What's happiness all about?  It's all in your heart, people.  Right in the middle of your body.  It stays there since the beginning of your creation until the day you discover it.  It's all about your journey towards the discovery of your happiness.  What in one's heart is what is life's outcome will be.  It's all about having and living a good life, to you.  It is how you understand it in your own language together with those who share and speak your language.  It's all up to you to discover it.  Its mystery lies within you.

You just need to sit quietly and listen to your inner self, to your blood flowing, to your breath moving in and out, and to your own tears when it come down rolling on your cheeks.  Listen to your self when its talking to you.  Just sit quietly.  Decide to live a good life.  Decide to live your life in your own way while conforming to universal decency.  For you cannot have  a good live when you are not decent with other human beings.

Yes, the pursue of happiness is a pursue to live a good life.  The key to live a good life is to have a good heart.  The heart is what one must care diligently and with love and kindness.  Writing this has brought my mind to these words :

"As is a tale, so is life: not know how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters."

This is an ancient quote which I picked from J.K.Rowling's speech titled 'The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination', a speech given at Harvard University Commencement in June 5, 2008.

Such is the greatness of the power of the heart, it dominates and influence the mind of oneself in understanding the meaning of what is the good of life and in the good of life is where one find one's happiness.  It is true, if you are to say that life is not a one way street that it has many faces, but, those are only elements which only add color to your living the life and the doings of life.  The heart will guide you to where to find the good in living.

Ponder one must, for in it the mind assesses the writings on the wall.